Thursday, September 24, 2009
Channel Surfing
I hope to God you realize that people see what you are doing, Glenn Beck. When you've already got the crazies on your side, and you are losing all of your sponsors, there is no point in amping up the lunacy anymore. Instead, it's much smarter to point out and criticize the most unhinged, left wing wackoes in a pitiful attempt to shame democrats and liberals(*gasp!* they're not the same thing?) into admitting just how "wrong" they were about everything. When you're a racist, unbalanced, crybaby, nutcase pundit you don't get to whine about some idiotic, thoughtless woman teaching a borderline-brainwashing song with the chorus "Barack Hussein Obama!" to children. Questioning her motives is a job for logical and sensible people who don't cling to either side of the political monster like a barnacle on a sinking ship. I know you don't like the kettle, Glenn, but you need to realize that you are also black.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I Hope To God I Keep Updating This
I know almost all of you are always coming to my Facebook page for the numerous updates, blogs, letters to the editor, and witticisms that I do not have to share. So this is for you, non-existent fan-base, which I sometimes refer to lovingly as my "ego".
New feature! In the vein of those wacky and original bits the shows on CNN and MSNBC have started in an effort to appeal to younger (i.e. stupider) viewers, I have created my own pointlessly trite and catchy sounding feature. For example, CNN has "Just Sayin'", "What the..?", and "Are you kidding me?", while MSNBC has "No way!". I believe Glenn Beck's is now "Why am I being paid?". So, like those networks, my new feature has a name meant to garner the attention of specific demographics, even though its subject matter has little to nothing to do with anything those groups of people might care about. I call it "I hope to God". Enjoy:
I hope to God that Lady Gaga is just a giant, unfunny practical joke being played on us by the entertainment business, much like Michael Steele is a practical joke played on republicans by black people. But in all seriousness, I do realize that these figures are merely the "rabbi, priest, and a minister" part of the giant joke being played on smart people by popular culture. I hope to God that most of you would not find me so naive.
I hope to God that the only thought going through the minds of all animators of "Drawn Together" is "WHY AM I DRAWING THIS GARBAGE? WHY AM I DRAWING THIS GARBAGE? WHY AM I DRAWING THIS GARBAGE?" That show and "Tripping the Rift" win the Special Olympics of animated "comedies". Apparently if you want to get an animated show on TV all you need is a lack of imagination and sense of humor. That being said, I don't know why "Family Guy" or "American Dad" bother with the extra effort of injecting countless 80's throwback references into their episodes, since they already fill the two previously mentioned prerequisites for success. I don't think Gen-Xers or people with a misguided sense of irony need anymore encouragement to watch unabashed pandering to nostalgia in crappy, animated form. The fact that I noticed "Drawn Together" already has at least three seasons out on DVD proves it. However, as much as I criticize this genre of "Lame-inae", I hope to God that I can find a way to exploit its success to further my own.
Thank you, Facebook and Blogger.com, for letting me have a creative outlet once again. The slow, painful, deliberate death of my Live Journal is still in progress, so I felt the need to paint a picture of my inner monologue for nobody in particular. I'm used to having only close friends and a few strangers read my public drivel, so this has been a great exercise in cynicism, and apathy towards people on my friends list who have nothing in common with me. Regardless, I meant no offense to anyone who bothered to read this all the way to the end. I know a less-than-humorous post script doesn't excuse my general lack of humility today, but I think we'll all survive anyway.
New feature! In the vein of those wacky and original bits the shows on CNN and MSNBC have started in an effort to appeal to younger (i.e. stupider) viewers, I have created my own pointlessly trite and catchy sounding feature. For example, CNN has "Just Sayin'", "What the..?", and "Are you kidding me?", while MSNBC has "No way!". I believe Glenn Beck's is now "Why am I being paid?". So, like those networks, my new feature has a name meant to garner the attention of specific demographics, even though its subject matter has little to nothing to do with anything those groups of people might care about. I call it "I hope to God". Enjoy:
I hope to God that Lady Gaga is just a giant, unfunny practical joke being played on us by the entertainment business, much like Michael Steele is a practical joke played on republicans by black people. But in all seriousness, I do realize that these figures are merely the "rabbi, priest, and a minister" part of the giant joke being played on smart people by popular culture. I hope to God that most of you would not find me so naive.
I hope to God that the only thought going through the minds of all animators of "Drawn Together" is "WHY AM I DRAWING THIS GARBAGE? WHY AM I DRAWING THIS GARBAGE? WHY AM I DRAWING THIS GARBAGE?" That show and "Tripping the Rift" win the Special Olympics of animated "comedies". Apparently if you want to get an animated show on TV all you need is a lack of imagination and sense of humor. That being said, I don't know why "Family Guy" or "American Dad" bother with the extra effort of injecting countless 80's throwback references into their episodes, since they already fill the two previously mentioned prerequisites for success. I don't think Gen-Xers or people with a misguided sense of irony need anymore encouragement to watch unabashed pandering to nostalgia in crappy, animated form. The fact that I noticed "Drawn Together" already has at least three seasons out on DVD proves it. However, as much as I criticize this genre of "Lame-inae", I hope to God that I can find a way to exploit its success to further my own.
Thank you, Facebook and Blogger.com, for letting me have a creative outlet once again. The slow, painful, deliberate death of my Live Journal is still in progress, so I felt the need to paint a picture of my inner monologue for nobody in particular. I'm used to having only close friends and a few strangers read my public drivel, so this has been a great exercise in cynicism, and apathy towards people on my friends list who have nothing in common with me. Regardless, I meant no offense to anyone who bothered to read this all the way to the end. I know a less-than-humorous post script doesn't excuse my general lack of humility today, but I think we'll all survive anyway.
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